Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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