i don't like sucking hair
i just wanna soil my oats bro
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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