My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
