We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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