We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
