I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize