i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
