I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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