At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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