did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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