I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
