dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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