I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
