He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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