bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
