Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
