oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I want to have your abortion
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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