I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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