me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
