Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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