I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
