i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.