is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.