your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
