And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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