I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
