you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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