Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
