I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
