you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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