Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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