if i can run in heels then i can drive
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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