Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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