Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
