Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
