real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
