I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
