did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
