but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
