I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
