Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
