all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
