I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
