Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Someone shattered a urinal.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
