I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i drank out of a bidet.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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