MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
