the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
