covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
