The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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