Ambien. No doubt about it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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