So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize