some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
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a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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