well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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