The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
