is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
