Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
