I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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