I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just gift wrapped bread.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize