you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
