Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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