I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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