my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
