Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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