seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize