This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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