are you still at the devil's house?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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