Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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