I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
